Happy Atlantis New Year
by Blue Zephyr Dragon
Summary: How Atlantis celebrate the New Year. Recommended for mature readers with a sense of humor. As usual JohnRodney and other pairings which might offend some as well as strong language. Take with a grain of salt.


Do not Own the Stargate World or other tv shows and films quoted in this story. This story was intended for New Year's eve but needed to recover from last year so here is is now. Have checked and double and triple checked so spelling errors and grammer are my own. Enjoy.

**HAPPY ATLANTIS NEW YEAR**

Richard Woolsey stared down at the Conga line that snaked through and around the gateroom.

"What in heaven's name is going on here?"

Elizabeth staggered out of the line and up to Woolsey.

"Mr Woolly, Welcome to Atlantis's UN New Year Celebrations, have a drink" Elizabeth then yelled at the top of her lungs "Bring a drink for Dickery hickory Dick"

"Are you drunk?"

"What I am, is pissed, right up to my eyeballs" Elizabeth leaned forward and breathed on Woolsey who stepped back in a hurry.

"Why are you so inebriated? It is not yet midnight"

"Maybe not here. We are a mully.. mally...molly, lots from all over. So we decided to celebrate New Year for all the time zones."

"All the Time Zones?"

"Yep, Stated with New Zeelond, got a Kiwi here, not the fruit, girls aren't fruit are they? Well anyway, we then moved on to AUSSIE, AUSSIE, OY OY OY! And at the same time Japan...SAKI!!!" Elizabeth then drunk from a bottle in her hand "Because it wouldn't be fair to leave Miko out even though she is strange to like Roddey. Have you seen his arse?"

"Who's? And please stop breathing on me"

"Ruoddy, but don't tell Johnney... and you shouldn't ask either"

"Oh Good Grief"

"Charlie Brown is here" a voice shouted.

Woolsey turned and saw General Jack O'Neill with his arms around both Doctor Daniel Jackson and Colonel Cameron Mitchell.

"What?"

"What, what, what?"

"Are you drunk as well?

"Yup, but not as drunk as the Atlantians, we only got here when they hit midnight at Rome"

"Ole!" shouted Mitchell

"No no no no, that's Spain, which was about an hour and a half later; we had the Swiss cheese..."

"Cheats" screamed the kiwi female, down among the Congo line

"Whatever, anyway that's where we came in" said Jack, "Then we went all over Europe, then UK and at the same time, USA and Canada"

"At the same time?"

"Yup, McKay demanded it, he got soooo angry, and you won't like it when Rodney gets angry"

The Stargate whooshed opened and SGA1 ran through holding what looked like three ZPM. They were giggling madly and Richard Woolsey saw that the giant alien Ronan carried a figure that looked like a wraith.

"What the heck is going on here?" he yelled "What is that Wraith doing here?"

"This is Michael, he's my date" shouted Colonel Samantha Carter running up the stairs behind SGA1.

"He agreed to help us find some ZPM and we agreed to allow him to come to our New Year's party, I mean we allowed you to come so why not him" said Elizabeth

"BUT HE IS A WRAITH!" screamed Richard

Sam looking sly said "He followed us home. Can we keep him?"

"No, defiantly not"

"Defiantly?"

"Yes"

"Thank you, you're my bestest friend"

"What"

"Michael can stay" shouted Sam to the milling throng.

The crowed cheered and Woolsey looked confused.

"But I said no"

"No you didn't. You said Yes"

"When?"

"Just now"

"I am very confused. I suggest that you all return to your quarters and sleep your drinks off."

While Woolsey had been talking to Sam, SGA1 had slipped out of the room. They came running back in, laughing manically.

"Ready for takeoff" yelled Rodney

"Thunderbirds are go" yelled John

"Up, Up and away" joined in Ronan

"Scramble" Teyla shouted

"What now?" asked Woolsey as he watched Jack, followed by Danny and Cameron, run from the room.

"We have three ZPM and we are going a trip, in our rocket ship" said Elizabeth, she offered her bottle to Woolsey and shrugged when he refused. She took a swig "Batten down the hatches, tie up the mainsail, avast you landlubbers, Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum... Where the hell is my rum, keel haul the bloody thief who stole my rum"

"Here it is, Mistress" said a voice.

Woolsey turned and saw Radek kneeling at Elizabeth's feet, holding a tray, with a bottle of rum on it. He was wearing what looked like a gold loincloth and had glitter all over his body, his face was painted with rouge and his hair instead of being wispy and messy was curled artfully around his face. Woolsey was shocked.

"For heaven's sake, People, This is a serious Expedition not a bordello"

"What is a bordello?" asked Teyla

Woolsey blushed and refused to answer. He turned to Rodney and John who were kissing.

"Surely, you do not mean to fly Atlantis away from here?"

"Yes we are and don't call me Shirley" said John

The room started to rumble and as Woolsey looked out, he saw that the city was rising, it seemed to reach a height, slowed down, then started to fall back.

A voice over the intercom yelled "Assume crush positions" and Woolsey watched amazed as everyone but him draped themselves everywhere, like the end result of a crash.

The descent stopped, the city gave a shudder and started to climb again.

"What is General O'Neill doing?" asked Woolsey

Chuck yelled out "You like a threesome"

"Oh heavens to Betsy. What about the Daedalus?"

"Look left" said Rodney

Woolsey looked out the window and saw the Daedalus swooping behind, swinging from side to side.

"Who knew that spinach is like alcohol to the Asguard" said Carson

Teyla gave a squeal, ran over and hugged and kissed Carson "Did you cure him?"

"Yup, Aiden is good as new"

"Excellent, now we can have a foursome, I am bored of just you, me and Ronan. We need to spice up our lives."

"Stop this is madness. You cannot be serious; I order you all to stop this at once."

"Party-pooper" snarked Rodney

"You are right Rodneykins" said John "Atlantis, delete the EMU hologram now!"

Richard Woolsey faded out.

"Now we can celebrate New Years all over the Pegasus Galaxy" shouted Elizabeth.

They started to sing

"Stargating across the Universe, always going forward cause we don't like to reverse"

"There's Wraith on the Starboard bow, Starboard bow, Starboard Bow

There's Wraiths on the Starboard bow, wipe them out John" sang Elizabeth, Chuck and Radek.

"It's life Liz, but not as we know it, not as we know it, not as we know it,

It's life Liz, so be afraid, be very afraid Liz" sang Carson, Doctor Fraser and Michael.

"We come in peace, Shoot to kill, shoot to kill, shoot to kill

We come in peace, shoot to kill everything" sang John, Jack, Cameron and all the soldiers.

"You canna change the laws of physics, the laws of physics" sang Radek in a Scottish accent

"You canna ..." Rodney interrupted and sang "Yes I can, I Am A GENIUS!"

Everyone sang "Stargating across the Universe, always going forward because we have lost earth"

"JOHN!!!"

"Wasn't me"

"We were following the directions you gave us" said Elizabeth

"So, follow the yellow brick stargates" snarked Rodney

He turned grabbed John and kissed him into the oblivion as the sky around them exploded into fireworks and a voice that sounded like Tom Jones sang "Love Atlantis Style".

And they all skipped and danced into 2008 and lived happily ever after... Well till Season 4 started again.

The End

Hope you liked it, Happy New Year.


End file.
